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Guruguru – effektiewe bemarking vir armgatte!

In Bemarking deur griffinRek jou bek

Het jy ‘n cool besigheid, maar jy wil graag bietjie die woord versprei? Was 2019 vir jou ‘n fokken tos jaar gewees? Is jy van plan jou boot prints op 2020 se ass te los?

Maybe kan ons jou help.

Ons het ‘n splinternuwe Maandag feature op Watkykjy om ouens soos jy te help. As jy belangstel, drop ‘n mail  met so bietjie details oor wat jy doen om zak te maak, dan werk ons vir jou ‘n post uit op Watkykjy wat jou budget pas, soos wat ons vir Francois gedoen het, vir sy bekostigbare eenmanagentskap, Guruguru …

“Bemarking is donners scary en dis moontlik hoekom meeste van ons dit net eerder los,” vertel Francois Van As, net voordat hy per ongeluk te hard op die agerkant van sy BIC pen byt. ‘n Skerfie deursigtige plastiek tuimel deur die lug en tref eers die muur en toe die mat. Dis duidelik iets wat gereeld gebeur, want hy maak sy skeel skoon en brei verder uit: “Dit is soveel makliker om sukses net eenvoudig aan die lot oor te laat. En met lot bedoel ek natuurlik die hoop van word-of-mouth en effektiwiteit van Facebook pages.”
Francois het onlangs sy internetbemarkingsdienste aanlyn gevat in die vorm van ‘n eenmanagentskap, Guruguru – die wesite waarvan hy die bou en launch daarvan uitgestel het vir 5 jaar. Dit het hom toe op die ou einde slegs vyf ure geneeem om die website te bou en sedertdien het sy sukses en credibility die hoogte ingeskiet. Afterall, mens kan seker nie ‘n tandarts sonder tande vertrou nie, of hoe?

So, wat is dit wat digitale bemarking so donners scary maak?
Francois sê daars ‘n paar faktore van digitale bemarking wat hom persoonlik al die nightsweats gegee het: 

  1. Waar de donner begin mens?
  2. Hoeveel gaan dit kos?
  3. Waar kry mens die tyd vir hierdie kak?
  4. En weereens, waar de donner begin mens?
    Waar om te begin is die regte vraag om te vra, want daar is so baie aspekte wat deel vorm van ‘n effektiewe digital bemarkingsplan. Daar’s SEO (search engine optimisation), Google Ads, Facebook Ads, social media marketing, mailing lists en nog goed waaraan mens nie nou dadelik kan dink nie. Maar die een ding wat al hierdie stukke gereedskap aanmekaar vasgom, is jou website. Sonder dit is jy en jou besigheid (wat moontlik ook jy is) verlore. ‘n Paar jaar terug kon ‘n mens nog staatgemaak het op ‘n Facebookblad en ‘n paar random weeklikse posts, maar die aanlynbemarkingsklimaat het intussen drasties verander!


Om ‘n werklik impak daarbuite (of waarookal die internet is) te maak, kort mens ‘n behoorlike website wat op effektiewe maniere connect aan die regte mense op ‘n gereelde basis. ‘n Mondvol? Ja. Akkuraat? Beslis!

‘n Besigheid wat uitkyk vir die klein outjies

Behalwe vir selfgeleerde digitalebemarkingskonsultant, is Francois ook ‘n musikale komediant met amper ‘n dekade se ervaring op die verhoog. Dis hierdie jare as kunstenaar wat hom laat besef het dat iemand iets moet doen om aanlynbemarking toeganklik te maak vir kreatiewe armgatte soos hyself. En dis presies wat hy nou poog om te doen met Guruguru!
Hy verduidelik: “Ja, ek doen werk vir corporate kliënte ook, maar ek het ‘n belofte gemaak dat ek ten minste vir die volgende jaar nooit ‘n komediant, kunstenaar, sanger, band, of ander kreatiewe persoon of groep meer as R3000 vir ‘n website sal vra nie. En dit sluit domain registrasie en hosting in vir ‘n jaar.”

Francois wil met Guruguru ook help om kunstenaars te help om meer te leer van digitale bemarking, sodat hulle hulleself kan help in die toekoms, en dalk ook op hulle beurt hierdie nuwe dienste aan ander besighede kan bied.


“Mens moet baie vingers in baie pasteie hê om dit as enige tipe kunstenaar te maak deesade. Talent is belangrik, maar nie alles nie.”

Guruguru is jonk, maar groei geweldig. In die nabye toekoms kan ons ‘n opvoedkundige blog verwag, instruksionele vlogs, en ‘n lekker podcast waar Francois met suksesvolle kunstenaars van alle shapes en sizes gaan gesels oor hoe hulle, hulleself bemark.

Maak kontak of raak betrokke!

As jy meer wil uitvind of betrokke wil raak by Guruguru, besoek gerus die website of maak sommer direk kontak. Wie weet, dalk werk julle saam aan iets moerse cool? Vertel jou tjommies in die entertainment industrie hiervan. Dis 'n 'n moerse solid deal!

Kontak Francois!

En onthou om ons te kontak as jy jou besigheid wil feature!

Hierdie post is 152 keer in totaal gelees en 21 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 159,336 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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The Midrand Boep Fighters – what a fokken joke!

In Movies en TV deur griffinRek jou bek

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime

Sometime last week, it appears that a BMW driver in Midrand for some unknown reason decided to use the indicator of his BMW. This totally fokken confused another BMW driver which resulted in his testosterone levels fucking out and somehow gave him a nosebleed. Because the sight of a functioning indicator is so rare in Gauteng, a crowd gathered around the two BMW drivers to ascertain as to what the fuck was actually going on. One of the guys with a boep took out his grandmother’s letter opener from its pleather sheath and threatened the other BMW with a boep. The guys threatened each other with poesklappe, but it was evident that they’ve only ever read about poesklappe online, probably on Watkykjy. They were uncertain as to how a poesklap works. Their only research was from an Afrikaans fight video called “Hugo Bel die Polisie” but unfortunately for the BMW Boep-boets, no poesklappe was handed out in that video either so they were lost at sea…

At some point another BMW driver arrived. His car was marked security, but from the oke’s actions, you could clearly see that he was totally insecure, so the words on his car was totally misleading. Unconfirmed reports indicated that he turned on his hazard lights in an effort to comfuse the two brawling boets…

There is just too much to unpack from this now very famous “sword fight” video which was filmed in Midrand Estates last week, so I’m just gonna drop some random notes without going into it in too much detail.

  1. When you put the word “Estates” in front of a name, it doesn’t make the area, the name or the place any fancier. If you live in Midrand Estates, chances are that the value of you property took quite a moerse dive in the last few day. Get out while you can.
  2. The first clue that gave away the location, wasn’t the BMWs, but the bystander lady. She was carrying a smôl dôg. Altough people from Pretôria alsô carry smôl dôgs, they usually roll with Yorkies or Sheewhwa-wha’s. This lady was carrying a Jack Russel, which is typically a Midrand dôg.
  3. If you drive a BMW in South Africa, people have long suspected that you’re a bit of a poes. Now everone is totally gonna think you’re one.
  4. Apparently everybody shook hands and they resolved it “outside of court” – nobody really gives a fuck, ok?
  5. The only thing that would have made this cooler is if the one dude had poop on his face in stead of that little bit of watered down blood.

Have some memes and context:


 

Head over to
the Plumlist for an easier top 10 compilation. There are better things to do than getting involved in some fucked up brawl:
#10 Why critics adore this little Mexican-American drama about sisterhood
The left-of-centre drama series Vida, now on Showmax, follows two Mexican-American sisters from the Eastside of Los Angeles, who couldn’t be more different, or distanced, from each other.		 On Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Fleshing out the second season of Sex Education
At the end of Sex Education Season 1, leading boy Otis (22-year-old Asa Butterfield, playing 16 and totally getting away with it) was having problems coming to grips with masturbation.		 On Netflix
(read more)
#8 Your first look at Sophie Lichaba in the Lockdown S5 trailer
Notorious for its cliffhangers, plot twists and emotional rollercoasters, Lockdown takes viewers into the daily battle for survival in the cells and offices of Thabazimbi Women’s Correctional Facility.		  On Showmax
(read more)
 #7 Grace & Frankie has won multiple awards, and it will win your heart too
Getting old is not for sissies, and that’s a fact. When you’re in your 20s and 30s and think you’re over the hill, oh honey – just wait. With each passing decade, your body will further betray you in direct proportion to your age.		 On Netflix
(read more)
 #6 Where to stream top South African movies online
Sure, it’s fun watching multi-million-dollar blockbusters on the big screen with your favourite actors blasting into space, fighting fantasy monsters in magical worlds or evil Nazis in the middle of World War II.		 On Showmax
(read more)
 #5 Sink your teeth into these vampire series on internet TV
Vampires have been sucking blood in books, movies and TV shows since uncle Bram Stoker dreamt up Count Dracula way back in 1897. Whether he’s called Count Vlad The Impaler (based on a real 15th-Century Romanian warlord), Dracula or something else, vampires and the mystery around them make for great entertainment.		 On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 4# Interview: The writer of Guilt talks about creating a “quicksand story”
In Guilt, two disparate brothers, high-flying lawyer Max (Mark Bonnar) and record shop owner Jake (Jamie Sives), accidentally run down an old man, Walter, on their way home from a wedding on a residential street in Edinburgh. Uninsured and under the influence, Jake is persuaded by Max to cover up their deathly deed.		  On Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Where to find Shonda Rhimes series on internet TV in South Africa
Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away With Murder and more award-winning drama series are currently streaming on Showmax, Netflix and DStv Now. Start from the very beginning or pick up in the latest season – your binge, your choice.		 On DStv Now, Showmax & Netflix
(read more)
 #2 Critics pick their best shows of 2019, from Barry to Watchmen
Review aggregator site Metacritic has released its round-up of TV shows that made the most Critic Top 10 Lists for 2019. Eleven of them are now streaming on Showmax.		  On Showmax
(read more)
 #1 RIP Cool Britannia; welcome to the Brexit wars
In a fashion, British culture has long seemed divisive to the outsider. Remember Cool Britannia, when the war was Oasis vs Blur? Or “do you support Manchester United or Arsenal”? Or “is your favourite prince William or Harry”?		 On Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 5 spot, Dracula!

He’s been around for centuries, but what happens when a worthy adversary bites back? From the makers of “Sherlock,” Claes Bang stars as Dracula in this brand-new series inspired by Bram Stoker’s classic novel.

Hierdie post is 193 keer in totaal gelees en 2 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 159,336 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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Vereeniging – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2020) teen Augustus se kant 12 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, siende dat ons die regte besit en dat die boek nie weer ge-reprint sal word nie. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Vereeniging
Vereeniging – wat ‘n kak jol. Suid van Joeys en boonop geklassifiseer as ‘n stad, maak dit deel uit van die Vuildriehoek, saam met Vanderbijlpark en Sasolburg. Dis op die Hoëveld so die weer is omtrent dieselfde as in Jo’burg; dis op die Vuilrivier, grens aan die Vrystaat en lyk nogal treurig.

So, wat kry mens in Vereeniging? Wel, longprobleme is nogal gewild. Jy kry ook issues, blou oë, ‘n bloedneus of twee, skelm polisie en so aan. Daar’s ook zef mense, die meeste tweedehandse karplekke per vierkante meter, die lelikste Kersversierings op huise – en dan die Vryheidsmonument.
Jy sien, die Vrede van Vereeniging is in 1902 na die Anglo-Boereoorlog se tweede episode daar gesluit. ‘n Afgesaagde stomp wys presies waar dit gebeur het.  (En glo my, dis nie al wat afgesaag is nie.)

Die eintlike Vryheidsmonument is deur Coert Steynberg ontwerp en staan langs die afgryslike Stadskouburg. “Gewond maar onoorwonne,” lees die plaatjie onderaan ‘n gewone klip Boer waaruit ‘n silwer Saint-tipe staalmannetjie opstaan met sy arm in die lug. Dis die Boer se gees, jy sien. Wat opstaan om nie kak te vat nie. Die bandelier en blommekrans en als het ook ‘n betekenis, maar die gedeelte van my brein wat daardie onnodige inligting moes huisves het seker plek gemaak vir al die ander indoktrinasie waaraan ons onderworpe was.

Maar behalwe vir hierdie waardevoll funksie in die geskiedenis van die Afrikaanssprekende gemeenskap, het Vereeniging ook nog ‘n paar ander belangrike persone opgelewer, onder andere die Ruiter Van die Windjie homself, Francois Pienaar, Bakkies Botha, oom FW de Klerk, The Helicopters en meer onlangs daai Morkel-boeties wat so vernuftig verwoesting op die krieketveld saai.

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen een of sander tyd besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Dit sal probably deel uit maak van een of ander tipe crowd funding. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans enige plek beskikbaar om te koop nie.

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Watkykjy staan op 159,336 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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Here are 10 new year’s resolutions that you probably won’t stick to in 2020

In Movies en TV deur griffinRek jou bek

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime

We all do it to ourselves , almost without fail, every year – you set the bar way to high and before you know it, you’ve failed to make proper plans for Valentine’s Day, and you’ve already fucked up half of the things you’ve set out for yourself to achieve or accomplish. Welcome to month two of every year of your adult life – the month where people’s dreams go to die…

But hey, if you don’t at least try, you will never know just how hard you fail or how close you came to succeeding. I don’t want to be all negative, so here is a list of the most common new year’s resolutions people tend to break, along with some kak advise from myself on how to fail a little bit more gently. There are actually eleven resolutions, but you know that because you’re reading this on the watt bike at the Virgin Active…

  1. Eat Healthier and Diet or eat better
    This is supposed to be an easy one. Humans have to eat sleep, poop and be awake. Those are the bare basics, china. If you eat better, you will poop better. If you poop better, you will sleep better and if you sleep better, the times when you are awake will be a lot less poopy. So why do we keep fucking this up? Less, sugar, less bread, less fat and less meat? It should probably be as easy as that, but for some reason we fail at it. I would start by dopping less hard tack. Or at least drinking brandy with water in stead of Coke. It looks fancier, for starters. The rest should follow.
  2. Spend More Time with Family
    For various reasons this is near impossible for a lot of people. They might live in another country or you don’t get along. Some people don’t even have family. If things are totally desperate, I would suggest trying to make at least one new good friend this year. Sometimes friends are considered family.
  3. Be Less Stressed
    Again, easier said than done as different things stress different people. A way to approach this, is to tick off at least one of the items on this list. Number 1 (eating healthier and cutting down on booze) would totes bring stress levels down, fokken guaranteed!
  4. Finding a significant other, bumping more uglies in the dark or or getting married.
    *opens Chappies bubblegum and reads the inside*
    “Did you know? It is actually 100% fokken OK not to have a significant other.”
    Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Crow, Coco Chanel, Al Pacino and Ludwig van Beethoven never go married and they’re totally fine and sleeping on piles of money. Except for Ludwig van Beethoven. He is fucking dead of course. But he made tit music.
    Focus on yourself. If sex and a relationship is really that important to you, it should follow naturally if you look after yourself. Otherwise, focus on fixing the little things first and then follow your hormones and wet bits around in the dark or on Tinder.
  5. Get Out of Debt and Save Money
    This is virtually impossible. Most of us are forever paying off credit cards, car loans and home loans. If you’re one of those idiots who have clothing accounts… *poesklap* snap out of it! Also remember that you don’t have to get out of debt THIS year, but you can get closer. Start settling the debts with the highest interest first. Another good tip is to have a 1 year goal, a 5 year goal and a 10 year goal. Maybe settle your small debts within the one year goal, pay off the bigger debts within the 5 year goal and work towards a plan to settle your house in 10 years in stead of the remaining 14 years, for example. Also, you don’t need to be in perpetual debt with a car payment forever. Once paid off, sit on your fucking hands. Maybe drive it for another 2 years and pretend that you’re still paying it off but shove that payment into your bond?
  6. Travel to New Places
    This doesn’t mean you have to go overseas. Go see Soweto if you haven’t yet, take a drive to your nearest nature reserve or go see some cheap touristy place that you’ve never been to. South Africa is massive and our country guaranteed has loads of awesome places you haven’t been to. It doesn’t have to be a massively big move or expensive exercise, but at least it is an easy thing to tick off your list. It might inspire you to klap the other stuff on your list as well.
  7. Learn Something New
    The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. There. You’ve learned something new.
    Not?
    Ok, then get a cheap guitar and learn some chords. Here are the most basic 6 chords. Your fingers go where the black dots go. You’ll be able to play thousands of songs:

  8. Volunteer
    Please don’t. You see a lot of people volunteering at dog and cat shelters or feeding the homeless soup. Unless you’re committed, please don’t do this and please don’t post photos on Facebook about it, because if you stop doing it at the same time you stop going to gym, I’m going to call out our ass on it. Virtue signalling should be criminalized.
  9. Quit Smoking
    This was one of the hardest things I ever managed to succeed at. After smoking more than 40 Lucky Strike cigarettes a day, I haven’t touched one in 3 years and 2 months. Here is an entire article I wrote 3 years ago on how to try and kick the habit.
  10. Be good, be kind, be better…
    …be the best you that you can be, or be whatever the fuck vague assessment concept that you’re trying to fool yourself with. Whatever you do, try and do it without telling people that you’re doing it. This #newyearnewme kak will just set you up for failure. Do you know how you’ll know that you’re succeeding at this?
    People will say stuff like: “You know, Karen, there is something different about you. You seem like less of a poes…”
Head over to
the Plumlist for an easier top 10 compilation. Head into the new decade a more relaxed without breaking promises to yourself just yet:
10 #Watch the trailer for brand-new SA series Black Tax
Black Tax follows successful professional Thuli Dlamini (Jo-Anne Reyneke) and her family as she grapples with the unspoken “pay as you grow” rule in her community – that when you’re successful, you pay everyone back for the support they gave you while you grew up.		 On Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Legion was made for sci-fi freaks who are up for a challenge
There have been some concerns of late that the superhero movie and TV market is getting a tad saturated, as Hollywood has been seriously cashing in on this genre for at least the past decade and that a breaking point is imminent.		 On Showmax
(read more)
#8 Five royal series to watch post-Megxit
For better or worse, unlike the reluctant royals the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, the monarchs and their families in these series are either fighting to keep their royal positions, or striving to get closer to the throne. They’re all available to stream on a screen near you.		  On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #7 South African movies to stream to kickstart 2020
Showmax is the streaming service that’s home to the latest and greatest movies out of South Africa, and here’s our pick of three very different films to get your 2020 off to the best start, no matter where you live or where you’re from in Mzansi.		 On Showmax
(read more)
 #6 Howards End: a calm, cosy British drama built for binge-watching
There’s a certain sense of predictable comfort in British period dramas. The costumes, the dialogue, even the musical score wrap the viewer in an agreeable cocoon of familiarity.		 On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #5 Where to stream the M-Net Sunday Night Movies in January 2020
DStv Premium subscribers: did you know it’s possible to watch the M-Net Sunday Night Movie any day of the week, wherever you are, on any device, from the Monday after the first screening?		 On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 4# Stream these 2020 Golden Globe nominees and winners on internet TV
Series on Showmax were the big winners in the TV category at last night’s Golden Globes, taking home five of the 11 awards given, more than any other streaming service in Africa.		  On Netflix, DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Get ready to check into Hotel S4, now streaming
Ferdie Kruger and the staff of Die Fransen Hotel have returned to kykNET on DStv Now and on Showmax, with new episodes of the fourth season of the mockumentary landing every Monday night from 6 January 2020 on both platforms.		 On DStv Now & Showmax 
(read more)
 #2 Where to watch Afrikaans series online
Looking for ways to watch all the most popular Afrikaans soaps, dramas and series on your smartphone, tablet or computer screen? Both Showmax and DStv Now offer the most recent episodes and most recent seasons of all of your favourites.		  On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #1 Five unmissable South African documentaries
These memorable films offer a window into some of the events, conspiracies and cultural moments that have shaped our collective psyche.		 On Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 6 spot, Howards End!

Howards End is remake of the classic movie which follows the social and class divisions in early 20th century England through the intersection of three families – the wealthy Wilcoxes, the gentle and idealistic Schlegels and the lower-middle class Basts.

Hierdie post is 154 keer in totaal gelees en 1 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 159,336 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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